What do you do when you are living through a storm?

When it feels like your world is exploding around you?

When your heart feels like it will burst from the pain?

When you have a boulder just sitting on your chest, making every heart beat an effort, feeling like you will burst into tears at any moment?

Forget the fact that you are walking calmly through the grocery store, smiling at strangers and dying inside.

Forget the fact that you tell everyone that you are fine when you are obviously NOT fine. 

         What do you do?

         What am I doing?

         I’m praying.

         God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Psalms 46:1

         I’m crying out to my father.  I’m begging and pleading that this is just a horrible nightmare that I will wake up from, but I know it’s not and I know he is sitting here with me, holding me close and crying with me.  Because I hurt, he hurts. I know that.

         I know that even when I sometimes lie and say I’m fine, at times, I mean it, and even when I don’t mean it, eventually it will be true. You know why?  Because my father is here, holding me close, loving me and telling me everything will be okay, he has a plan and to trust him. 

         You know what else I am doing?

         I’m praising him.  God.  My father.

         Why?

         My God is for me.  He loves me.  He wants the best for me.  He has plans.  Amazing plans.  Wonderful plans.  Plans that no matter what storm I am living through, they won’t be derailed.  A speed bump may get placed in the path that slows it down, or something causes a slight detour to his plan, but he will use that speed bump and that detour to his advantage.  To show his glory and power.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

         I will continue to have hope.  Hope for a better tomorrow. Hope that I will be able to see a little bit ahead of the storm to where it’s calm and peaceful.  To where God is leading me. 

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. Psalm 119:114

         But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:31